Ok, I’m not the best at this one, but I’m working on it so I’ll pass it on. You should never underestimate the importance of being positive. This may sound obvious, but I see people blowing themselves up all the time — even though they think they are being helpful by pointing out the asinine things they see around them — so it is important to remember.
First, when you see a great idea, give it props! Tell people why you like it. Even if you think it is obvious. Everyone loves compliments and being acknowledged. Just don’t be a suck-up or sound overly patronizing. That’s a hard balance to manage for some people for some reason. I think the difference is in your intentions. Do you honestly want the other person to shine? Or are you trying to show off and gain points with someone? Either way, people will know. They can smell it. So watch yourself.
Second, when you see a lukewarm idea, help people make it better. Make some suggestions. Offer some advice. But especially offer to help if you can. Nobody likes empty ideas or a know-it-all who is not willing to step up.
Third, when you see a terrible idea, try this process:
- 1. Start by saying something positive. Do your best. Sometimes this might be the hardest part.
- 2. Then acknowledge the good intentions. Make assumptions here that everyone has good intentions if you have to… even if you suspect that some intentions might not be pure.
- 3. Identify the risks or causes of your concerns in your mind. Then ask how the suggester has planned to deal with these issues. Don’t assume that they didn’t think of it. They might know more then you do.
- 4.a. Be ready to be wrong. You might be. Be gracious not resentful if this happens.
- 4.b. Be ready to be right too. You might be. Be gracious and don’t rub it in if this happens.
- 5. Also, be ready to go along with a bad idea in public. Sometimes everyone else doesn’t agree with you. So be supportive and encouraging and assume that by working together we will discover the error (one way or another). In your heart, don’t wish people to fail. They can smell it. The danger here is that if/when the bad ideas does fail, they are more likely to blame the naysayers for not helping than admit that their own idea was bad. So better to avoid that risk and let the idea live or die on its own merit. It’s better to be remembered as the guy/gal who whole-heatedly supported them (even when you weren’t that sure about it at first). Then maybe they will even support you when people are grasping for a new solution.
The fact is, anyone can find negative things to say. That’s the easy part. The hard part is thinking about how to make things work despite all the risks of living in an uncertain world. Do the hard work and think about what it takes to succeed. Let someone else be branded as the naysayer if he or she wants to.
Again, anyone can come in throw an idea on the ground. That doesn’t make you smart or helpful. It just makes you a jerk. If you need an example of a super negative guy, watch this video:
And if you need an example of a super positive guy, watch this.
Good luck.
